My fellow Americans, it is my sad duty to report an impending tragedy that will soon befall us. Though I cannot betray their anonymity, my sources at the Pentagon and Langley itself have confirmed the rumors of a coming calamity that will destroy millions of lives: Warner Brothers will soon begin production on a reboot of The Matrix……………..THE MATRIX! The government has prepared nationwide fallout shelters to protect as many citizens as they can from the fiery wrath of God’s righteous revenge for this unforgivable blasphemy. I suggest you and your loved ones make your way to one of these shelters immediately. May He forgive us!
Obviously, I’m joking, but if you couldn’t tell from the insane ramblings above, I am none too happy about this. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the planned reboot is already in the early stages of development, and the only casting name potentially attached so far is Micheal B. Jordan (Creed, Fruitvale Station, Fantastic Four) for a possible starring role. However, Zak Penn (Last Action Hero, X2, Pacific Rim: Uprising) is reportedly in talks to write a story treatment for the film.
The obvious question of course, is will the original cast and directors return? Anything can change, but at the moment, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen [insert frowny face here]. Neither Laurence FIshburne nor Carrie-Ann Moss have spoken up about this yet. But Neo himself, A.K.A real life actor Keanu Reeves, has expressed his interest in returning to the franchise….if the Wachowskis also come back. Mr. Reeves brings up an excellent point. If Warner Bros. really insists on this course of action, many would argue that they have no business hiring anyone but the Wachowskis to write and/or direct. Being the masterminds behind the Matrix trilogy, the vibrant imagination and world building skills of Lana and Lilly Wachowski were crucial in the success of the 1999 science-fiction classic and its sequels. They simply have a visual style and cinematic language that, even in their worst films (Jupiter Ascending), they still manage to impress me in ways that many other filmmakers don’t. And seeing as how their Netflix show Sense8 seems reasonably popular, this could be the perfect opportunity for a cinematic redemption after some recent, very unfortunate missteps (Again, Jupiter Ascending. Enough said).
Although I still hold out hope, as I would for any production that hasn’t even started filming yet, in my eyes, this really just should not happen. I mean not, ever! The Matrix trilogy is one of my favorite sic-fi franchises of all time, very near and dear to my heart, and I was under the impression, even in this age of endless reboot and sequels, that The Matrix was considered sacred ground. A cultural monolith, never to be disturbed so that its story could rest in blissful peace. Clearly, I was wrong! Again! Seriously, how is this reboot going to compete in this climate of big budget superhero movies? How are they going to update a 20 year-old modern classic, that, while great, was undoubtedly a product of its time? That being said, I’ll have much more faith in this project if this turns out to be a sequel rather than a straight up reboot, which would be more justified.
Because its only becoming more difficult to articulate my irritation (that’s an understatement) with Hollywood’s latest shenanigans, I will simply leave some parting words for the bold men and women at Warner Bros.: You people better know what you’re doing! Because if you don’t? No studio or famous actor can save you from the rage of a disgruntled, nerdy fanbase armed with the awesome power of whiny Youtube comments and bad word-of-mouth! And may God help you when that happens.